sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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