i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
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A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I love you. Go after that dick
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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