I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
