Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
