nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
