and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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