Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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