I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize