Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
