You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
