from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize