He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
