How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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