that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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