I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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