Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
