its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
