# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
