covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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