dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
