Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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