He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
