I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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