I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
