Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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