An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
