I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
