And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Randomize
