The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
