Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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