Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Green mimosas i think yes
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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