I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
