I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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