Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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