He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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