I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
