Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
accomplished twins. life is a go
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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