We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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