You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
