I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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