Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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