Are we in a gay sports bar?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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