I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
