I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
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My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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