Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Dignity is for republicans.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
