I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
