and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
