Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
