I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
