we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
