She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
