white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
