just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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