i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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