Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize