Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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