apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I want to be your penis for a week.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
