those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
