Christians are straight up FREAKS
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
