Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Randomize
