sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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