we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Randomize
