I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
