I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
No subtext here. People are naked.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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